So, there’s this guy I miss a lot. I’ve haven’t seen him in person in almost two months. We’re not together, but I do have strong feelings for him and he knows this. The thing is, I don’t understand why I miss him so much if we aren’t together or anything due to him being a Marine and having the training to do. He won’t be back for at least 6 months to a year. I also got attached when he was here on boot leave. I don’t understand why I did that either. Please help.

It is hard to know from the limited information, but the fact that you know him so little may be part of the attraction. Recognizing that you may be drawn to his potential — not the reality of the situation — is often part of the process.

Wanting what we can’t have leaves us stuck, but it also makes people feel safe. Having the fantasy of a potential connection keeps us from trying to develop more tangible intimacy with others, which can be a very scary thing to do.

Again, very hard to know if anything like this is going on in your situation. But, when we are pining after what you barely know, some aspects of what I’ve spoken about seem to be present.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral